Press Kit — WANKSPANNER™

The mark

The spanner, on transparent backgrounds unless stated. 1024×1024 PNG. Use whichever contrasts with what it's sitting on — that's the only rule.

Mark — Black

For light backgrounds. Transparent PNG.

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Mark — Yellow

For dark backgrounds. Transparent PNG.

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Mark — Tile

Yellow on black. Use as an avatar or app icon.

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Mark — Zilch Green

Reserved for AI-Zilch contexts only.

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Graphics

The things actually worth posting. The name chart is the one that travels — post it, ask people to comment their wankspanner's name, and let the thread do the work.

The Name Chart

1200×1800. First letter of their first name, department and job title. 17,576 combinations. Best-performing asset — lead with this.

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AI-Zilch Badge

1200×1200. Claim it only if your work meets the five clauses — including clause 4, the hard one.

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AI-Zilch — LinkedIn Cover

1584×396, exactly LinkedIn's background size. Profile → Edit background.

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The Spannies Poster

1200×1600. Ceremony key art. Friday, 4:55pm. Nobody will collect.

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Share Card

1200×630. What appears when the link is pasted. Mostly here so you can check it's rendering.

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The facts

If you're writing about us, this is what's true.

What it is: A satirical workplace site where people anonymously log the behaviour of a colleague — never the person.
Emails sent: None. Not one, ever, to anybody who hasn't personally asked to receive one.
Names published: None. Every name on the site is redacted or invented.
Data stored: Email addresses entered on the nomination form are discarded in the browser and never transmitted.
Safeguards: Gallery submissions pass an automated identifiability check that blocks names, companies, links, handles and contact details before posting.
Built with: AI, for the code and much of the drafting, from a human brief. Concept, judgement and editorial are human. Stated plainly on the site.
Spelling: Wankspanner. One word, always. Never "Wank Spanner".
Founded: 2026 · Malaysia · Whizzbangidea Industries

Colours

Four working colours and two accents. High contrast is the point — don't soften them.

YELLOW
#FFE600

BLACK
#0B0B0B

CREAM
#F4EFE3

RED
#FF2B2B

ZILCH GREEN
#00C767

SPANNIES GOLD
#C9A227

Using this stuff

Deliberately permissive. We would rather it spread than be protected.

Take it. Post it, print it, put it on a slide, stick it on a mug. No permission needed, no attribution required, commercial use fine.
Don't edit the marks. Recolour them if you must, but don't stretch, rotate or add effects — the shape is the whole brand.
Don't use it to name anyone. Putting a real person's name next to any of this is the one thing we ask you not to do, and the only thing that could cause anybody actual trouble.
Don't claim AI-Zilch falsely. It's worth nothing the moment it's worn by work that doesn't meet the standard. That includes us — see "How this was made".
Don't imply we endorse you. Using the mark isn't a partnership, and we haven't checked whether you're a wankspanner.